Thursday, November 29, 2007

Male, Female and other Alien Thoughts

So many of my girlfriends find themselves wanting to be in love and then hating the results. Why is this? Why do they make the same mistake?

The Male desired. Girlfriends, you all want a man with balls but you don't want the brains that come with them. The man you choose is the kind of man who comes with concept of being UNCONTROLLABLY CONTROLLED. What does this mean? Look, in so many everyday areas a man is uncontrolled in contrast to women. Look how they dress. How they groom. The sheets on their beds. But look closer and you will often see the markings of 'anal retentative' behavior which we define as 'boring'.. Move his (yes his) remote and this will start his engine. Try to put something personal in his car. Go use one of his tools. However they want to control the environment around them including their woman. They do this by manuvering us into being chattel rather then partners. And we often feel bullied (and truth.....we do plenty of our own bullying and our tears are weapons as far as a man is concerned) which we react negatively too. Our reaction is natural for us but seem unnatural for him.

Us, the Female. We live an CONTROLLABLY UNCONTROLLEDlife. Counterpoint to man. We spend hours finding outfits that are expressive of our moment. Of course, shoes to match. Grooming duties that are forever time consuming. Floral arrangements. We are uncontrollably rearranging everything we control all the time. Never sure our path taken was the best one so we think, "should we try something different?" Let's go to the 'biker club' and see what is happening there. As much as wanting to be the submissive bedroom slut, when we are outside the bedroom we do not want to be controlled. We want safety and comfort and we trade nuturing and tears for that. But, we don't want to be controlled otherwise. We wish unpredictable lives within the confines of the safety and comfort net we created.

So, how do we resolve all this. That will be the subject of another blog.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Where Did They Go?

At this time of the year in both FirstLife and SecondLife I begin to think of those people I haven't talked with or seen for the past year. This will culminate by New Years in FirstLife because I start calling them to wish Happy Thanksgiving and all the holidays and holy days till finally Happy New Year.

Some of the FirstLifers disappear and then reappear a few years later. Some I hear about through mutual friends and in someway we still are connected. It ain't purrfect but it has connectivity.

Here in SecondLife friends leave and you never hear from them again. Gone................gone where? Into Firstlife some. A new av for others but gone.

I would like my friendships in SecondLife to claim some permanency. Like FirstLife I don't mind some falling through the cracks of time and space but here I lose too many. I don't know if their horrid marriage in FirstLife was finally resolved. Did their sick child get better.

Oh, yes we do talk deeply about our first lives. Many times more in depth then we would with those friends in FirstLife and then some of my friends just disappear.

So, if you are one of my friends not spoken to in a long time and you have somehow meandered your way to this blog just know I do think about you. I wish you well. And from here to New Year's I will reminisce. Look at my photo album and smile about our times together.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A Time for Thanks

This American holiday tradition is celebrated in other countries in some similarity such as OctoberFest. And although many people declaim a fondness for this holiday, I find it a particular joy.

A touch of background. The first Thanksgiving in the United States was celebrated together in 1621 by the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag as thanks for the first successful harvest. Removing the religious surroundings of this first Thanksgiving day we are left with a diverse group sitting together in thanks.

The only gift of Thanksgiving was of companionship, survivability and thankfulness for the bounty of the harvest.

Those of you who will celebrate this in the USA and for those of you who do not celebrate this but whom I know elsewhere. Slovenia, Slovakia, England, New Zealand, Canada, Brazil, Japan, Australia, Germany, Russia, Denmark, India, South Africa, Italy, Spain, France, Brussels, Ireland, Venezula, Carribean, Scotland, Netherlands, Kuwait, Qatar, UAE, Bulgaria and others I can't remember (these were intentionally not put in a particular order) I wish you to know this:


Saturday, November 17, 2007

Inside Out

Compairing life in two worlds.

OUTSIDE: There are the cheerful voices of the children enjoying the mall. Their eyes wide open and their fingers in search of touching everything. From the Piano that says, "Do Not Touch" (to which their parents point the sign out to the 3 year old) to putting their fingers in their mouth and tasting whatever they have touched as if screening for a part in Law and Order.

INSIDE: I'm able to buy 5 dresses, 3 pair of shoes, a sofa, motorcycle and manage to carry the all of it home without any help at all.

OUTSIDE: Lovely foods to choose. Take home and bake the sweet smell of a pumpkin pie. Turkey and gravy. Fresh flowers perfuming the air with their sweet scent of the country. Aromas of memories fill the air.

INSIDE: Friends dancing and talking about the most intimate details of who we are and what we wish. The joys we've had and the sorrows never told. Truth without fear.

OUTSIDE: The sadness of our troops engaged away from their homes this holiday time. Mothers and fathers not home to hear and see their children's giggle and gobble Thanksgiving away.

INSIDE: A feeling of oneness with all the world. Borders, countries disintegrate. Physical beauty and gender take a backseat to intelligence and wit.

OUTSIDE: The trees a multitude of autumn colors that neither Heart nor Botanical gardens can completely digitize.

INSIDE: My home of who I am for eternity

OUTSIDE: My home for the length of this physical reality

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Enough Should Be Enough

What is happening in FirstLife? I cannot understand how so many people have been convinced they never have enough. And, who is to blame............hmmmmm....let's see....all the political players first comment to their countryfellows is to say, "go out and shop."

9/11 came and what was our answer. Fly, take a vacation, buy yourself something you don't need. Oh, yes we are going to war but btw don't let that stop you from shopping. Fill your house with crap you don't use and when that house is full buy a bigger one and throw out what you have so you can have new crap you won't use.

So, if we all could look back at when we were intelligent (that's about when we were 14) and remember what we thought 'enough' may be; I think many of us would find out we won the game.

And what does this mean. Once you know you have enough you begin to think of others. You begin to realize how wonderful other people are in your everyday life. Example: I go to the supermarket and I reach the checkout line. Besides being polite and acknowledging to the checkout person. I usually ask the question, "do you know why we don't live 450 years". There is always a quizzical look. I then reply, "who could do this job for another 420 years". Always get a smile. Usually a laugh. A sense of comaraderie occurs and just like secondlife intelligence is shared.

So, do I have enough. Yes, because I don't need much. I've reduced the number of plates in my cupboard by a methodology called divorce. Everything I had is now somwhere between 10% to 50% of before. And guess what, i still have crap to get rid of.

As this year comes to a close, take stock of what you have, what you want and what could be enough. One thing I never seem to have enough of is the friendship and laughter of you who are reading this and those friends who would think that I, Lauren, am definitely enough.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Pursuit of Happiness

Let me first preface this with saying the idea of 'going with the flow' is ridiculous. Toilets flush, they go with the flow, forget it.

That said, I live in a world where trite negativety no longer exists. I live where I desire all to succeed. Where the weather is not a problem. (how you are dressed could effect the way you view the weather.) But the weather itself is wonderful. Rain, Sunshine, Cold, Hot. Yet so many people start with complaints

The matrix is not some digital ciphers making up a robotic versus human dilemma. It is not the 'force' in Star Wars. It is the ability to perceive, grasp and enjoy what our lives are about.

Certainly there are difficulties and negative situations. The inability to pay your bills. Provide food and shelter. These are serious detriments to the 'pursuit of happiness'

Can you imagine, the founders of this nation USA took the time and effort to insert the phrase, 'the pursuit of happiness'. And our pursuit should be diminished by no other. Remember your laughter is enoyed by many. Not all but many. And if those around you try to make you feel that 'your pursuit of happiness' is not worthwhile or attainable it is a problem they face not you.

As a woman of SecondLife I have found much joy. Friends of a quality I imagined and now are there. Of course I suffer ridicule by some. For many reasons including my feminiinity. But what's new with that.

Others fault me for being too happy. Laughing too much. But all of this is counterbalanced by all of you who read this and send me your love.

So, I will always be there for you. My soul and spirit embrace who you are. I am often amazed at your individual ability to find that place inside you of sharing, laughter and love.

Oh, and I will continue to search for the funny side of life (or is that the sunny side of life)

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Crisp and Clean

Good Morning from the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. It's 75 degrees here and I wish all of you were staying in rooms next to me. If you were I would do a private dinner show.

Yes, imagine are sitting, relaxing, just starting your appetizer and I come out into the room------------------and you become bulimic. A true weight loss program. Hahaha, wonder if the guys would still be trying to look up my skirt. (of course you would. If an elephant wore panties you'd try to see through them. It's an innate trait.)

I do understand the need for guys to see our tits. All of them. It's a forensic accounting issue. Since no two pair are the same they are simply trying to come up with an identification method such as fingerprinting.

It is so beautiful a morning here and I just thought of all of you. (well maybe not you if you are reading this and I don't know you). I wanted to leave you a tender kiss of a great morning. And wherever you are, no matter how difficult your day is, if you are feeling down or have the flu.

I'll make you chicken soup. Hug you always. Because life would be so much less without you all.

Please vote on Lauren doing a Live Earth Show for friends and family of SL and your favorite location to be nauseated at.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

SL Divorce

So here is the quandry. Many of my friends partner/marry and then they get divorced/unpartner. Well, the weddings and parties we all get to attend but how does it all end. Who get's the prim and who gets the land?

So, I found a few SL marriage counselors. (next time i'll visit the lawyers in SL) The most prominant is Gabbie Gabe who has a nice office in SL and specializes in marital disharmony. On her wall is a degree announcing 600 hours of credentials signed by the President Sigmuend Freud.

Another was the SL Love Clinic. Apparently you hang a picture of you and your partner on a wall and some mystical force will strengthen your SL affair. BTW, this place is at a beach and there is a nice little sex toy shop nearby that is not associated with the Clinic but I assume is doing more business.

Oh, of course there is that purports they have over 1,000 licensed pyschologists and are only a web click away. (None were in SL).

Yes, there were two churchs with these services but I was afraid to enter due to a lack of conviction.

Last I went the Crisis Resolution. This particular company is also involved with sorting out business crisis as well. Unfortunately they are out of business.

I have made an appointment with Gabbie. I am curious whom should I look at as a potential partner and how do I gently say no. Hopefully my session will be in voice.

Friday, November 2, 2007


There are so many things that have happened to me. I wrote a blog about being griefed and deleted it. Why is unimportant but the incident changed so much of how I felt this week.

You know you can't keep a good woman down unless there's some sex involved. But this week was a lot about emotions. The griefer started my thoughts but then something else kicked in. A friend ridiculed me at that moment of near desperation.

Included in this was so many of my friends have partnered in SL or are together in FL. Yes, I felt that emptiness. And loneliness. A few friends listened to my blues and all supported me in different ways. I thought about leaving SL or perhaps creating a new alt. I actually went so far to have created one. Someone whom no one would know. Someone with no impressions of boot heels.

I know who I am in SecondLife offends some. And it's a path never taken by another yet. I don't do depression very well nor am I prone to wallow in it. But this week I decided was not depression it was simple loneliness.

This feeling was why the blues were written. This feeling was why so much has been produced around the world. There are so many women who have found themselves shuttered inside a cabin that was not even in their imagination when they were little girls.

At moments I was stronger and at others I sank back. Oh, I have not nearly been as injured as so many women have. But yet, within my own self, I was hurt. You all know I cannot be offended and I am not needy. However, I can hurt and I did this week.

Fear not, I am coming out of this and I will be stronger. There is much to me and I am more solid then the vapors that surrounded me with their intoxicating poison this week. I simply write this so you know we all find ourselves on an island. Alone. Lonely. And yet I found myself looking up and seeing the beautiful sky. The clouds, The Sun. And down to the water reaching out to the horizon.

So I stopped there and smiled. Realizing the beauty in which we live. The opportunity across the horizon and the love of those not with us as I sat and pondered.

I stood up and surveyed the beach, the birds, the palms and thought, "why am I so morose?" And then a smile creased my lips as I walked to the waters edge with this thought crossing my mind. "I need a new bikini." Love your all Lauren