Tuesday, April 29, 2008


There is much happening in May so mark your calendars.

"Rezzables," is a major undertaking which will open in mid May and run until mid June. Please keep an eye out on this at http://npirl.blogspot.com/
Some 70 builders will entice you with great thoughts with an underlying topic. This will be one of those pleasures to take a friend on the excursion and since it will be open for 2 months there will be time to explore all the builds.

UNEXPECTED DETOURS a production by"Act Up" will be comprised of 3 new One Act plays on May 16th and also there will be an improv piece at the end by students who took classes this year. Since seating is always limited you should try to get in touch with Marin Mielziner to be kept up to date. Also you can ask Marin about future classes if you are interested.

The Breast Cancert Event raised over 210,000L and was a great success. Again I thank you all for your support. You show up regularly and laugh at my jokes, even when some are not so funny. For me laughter is like having a orgasm without having to worry if your partners has.

This week, one of our members in Lauren Live contacted me to say she would not be on SecondLife much in the future. She took the time to warm my tears with her comment I had made her laugh when she most needed to. Her personal situation was collapsing (and now has) and she must now extricate herself from the untenable relationship. Moving, resolving financial issue and tears would limit her time to come to SL. That my comedy had been a balm for these wounds was heart warming. I don't always realize how important a laugh can be.

And this leads here. MEN>>>>>MEN>>>>>>please listen. We enter a relationship...it is entered with love, consideration and hope. But over time and for many people the love turns bitter, consideration becomes disturbing and hope vanishes. MEN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEN>>>>>> during those early stages and even to the end your woman has really given you her deepest treasure, 'her heart'. You have all felt the desire to bea a valiant, gentleman............but too often, as the relationship collapses you don't see her as woman on a pedestal but instead woman from the "taming of the shrew."

I want you to completely change something about this. You all know...MEN..MEN....you hold on while you push off...until the woman has no choice but to break the relationship. I don't have statistics but I believe over 70% of relationships are ended by the woman.
MEN>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEN>>>>>when this time comes....try to find the part of your brain that loved her. The jewelry you bought her in love let her take with her with love. Don't look at her as an expense when it is over (Yes, so many of you will say, "Do you know how much I spent on you?")

I want you to get up on your white horse. To think how a father would treat his daughter and take the high road. Instead, at the end, even when she says it's over, look at the circumstance and hope you can leave her (and should a child be a part of this relationship) in the safety a woman needs so badly to recuperate. (Ok...men...........men.....I am not talking about the woman who leaves you for another man....in that case....just smile and leave. Be thankful you have your life and try to ask yourself were you in anyway the cause of this. Drop the jealousy, smile and as a hunter in the jungle whose arrow had missed the target, walk on. Breathe the air, see the sky, be happy to be alive.

MEN>>>>>>>>>>>MEN>>>>>>>>>>please be a MAN at this time. You really don't need all the material stuff but instead you want it as payment for your time. Ridiculous. And MEN........never let that woman leave with nothing and pat yourself on the back. Do you know how many women do exactly that? Just because the love is gone doesn't mean you shouldn't still treat her as a woman. If you had never met her would you open the door? Would you help her if she had a highway problem? Would you think, "This is going to cost me time and time is money?" No, you wouldn't

So......MEN>>>>>>>>>>>MEN>>>>we know it's not easy but we also know you can do it and you will love yourself more if you do and leave us with memories that will last forever in the smile part of our life album.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Charitable Events

Tonight I am doing a show at 6pmSLT with all proceeds going to Breast Cancer research in firstlife. I certainly hope you can come.

But, this raises a question. Do you go to benefits that are not a primary concern of yours? Do you tend to give money?

Also, are there benefit scams in SL? Can you get a write-off for your gift? Would you give more if you were certain of the legality of paying in SL for a recognized charity?

I ask this because I have done many charitable shows in SL. Nearly every fiber of my body loves helping others. So many people in SL give time and energy for various charitable events. There are even Charitable groups. In fact SecondLife lends itself to doing a major event, around the world at lower cost and a more environmental footprint.

FirstLife Charitable events that are not neighborhood events use fuel to transport both the entertainers and the audience. Actually many events the entertainers (big headliners) don't really give their time for free. At the very least they expect first class treatment on getting them to the venue etc. Many donate just a part of their fee and then file as a charitable deduction. Often they tie in the sale of a new cd or a coming movie so that the event helps them in non-event commercial business and none of that goes towards the charity.

So, although we cannot raise the same funds firstlife does (not yet). I think we are more efficient in many ways and I have a sense SecondLife reaches many who could not afford an expensive firstlife event but in SecondLife they find themselves in the front row and an important part of the event.

In so many ways I find SL the greatest common denominator of intelligence yet to occur in history. Our reach is like none other. From the Arts, Entertainment, Comedy, Life we extend humanity to a level of unequaled equality. I am hopeful over time we in SecondLife will make a major difference in the field of Global Charitable Good.

So............please come............IM me. BTW, any thoughts you'd like to tell me but don't want to leave as a comment, please email me at lauren.weyland@gmail.com

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

FirstLife-SecondLife-Hop,Skip, Jump

So, I am thinking of buying a pink and a blue foam ball about six inches in diameter (15.24 centimeters). You know, that I could squeeze small and keep in my pocketbook and then when out on a date, after the appetizers, if all looked ok I could pull them out and just put them on the table.

Or if we went dancing, just toss them on the dance floor. (Bet in a crowd some would giggle knowing what they represented.)

Also, I would have that "Take All Clothes Off" click somewhere nearby just in case. And I would love to have my Mysti tool with me. Could turn the "Anti-push" to 100% and then not get groped.

OMG, I saw one of these TV products they were selling. Some little high powered thing that would let you hear what people were saying. Of course they show how good it would be for watching tv in bed, at a sports event and of course to eavesdrop. Eavesdropping, can you believe it? Another product from Linden Labs probably. I think this product should be kept on the same shelf as the comic book Xray glasses that supposedly let you see through our dresses.

We need a SL version of Cosmopolitan. You know, "Ten ways to have better Sex in SL". Or, "How to tell if he loves you." Yes, and let's not forget beauty tips for getting rid of SL cellulite.

See you soon.....hugs and kisses....and don't forget, "May your skirts be short and your legs long."

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Is There Life after SecondLife

Ramblings of a mad woman:

Ok so the new update comes along and it's 1.20.8760 or something. When did the techies start adding so many nth's after the second ===period . ===? I mean will we have another 1240 updates before we get to 1.21.0 or will they just keep adding so it looks like 1.20.8975623402342453450304?
I'd love to know.

BTW after serious study of the new update I have this to report. First, an amazing amount of talent and time were spent making this new larger gray/black bar to outline the scale of possibility of getting into SL. I mean did someone sit at the table and say, "We've heard from numerous SL'ers that this is their most important issue.

And, then after tearing apart the code and reviewing everything, I see they took all the problems and glitches of the last year and rolled them into this update. Is it a reminder of things past or do they feel our crashes, lost inventory, disintegrated sims, fluctuating textures, dropped IM's, audio disruptions were game joys we were all missing?

Ok, next they'll come up with 'social algorithms'. Example, when we log on our friends list will show only 5 friends (they may or may not be on line) and these are the only ones we can contact until the algorithm refreshes the list.

Or perhaps they could just accidentally slip us into some, we don't know, voice conference where we can hear but they can't hear us. Actually, they could, if they had a technical staff introduce a sentence into a voice conference call from out of nowhere. Like, a major discussion by FFRC regarding new building or a grant to someone creative (ok..Forum for Rich Content) .....they could slip into the discussion, "Wow, that new Xcite penis is penetrating".

I've decided that all the 'red-lined' areas in SL are actually cordoned off due to some crime and that CSI SL'ers are using their SLultralights searching for semen in 'all the right places.'

Ok....I can't help it....I'll shut up....but please please Mr. and Mrs Linden. make the next update be an upper...or else let us 'down' gently date.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

LOVE ----Men and Women Differ

Oh, so you all think love means the same thing on the other side of the table. Think again. There is plenty of land we both walk on called LOVE....but there is other land that belongs just to man and other land the belongs just to women and neither have walked on nor understood.

Now, of course, I am bias and would say we women have trod throughout the fields and seen all the land of love man plants and trees but that would be false. So, perhaps I should say....at least we've crossed the borders from time to time.

LOVE, girls love to hear it and guys just afraid to say it. But that's too easy an answer. Why do girls find they can say "I Love You" to their boyfriend and a few months later say to the new boyfriend the same thing? Do you really think boys don't say it because they are just afraid. How about reasons like they think it when you aren't there and at the moment it held all the depth of love but later together they feel it's trite to say "I Love You." (though of course they could improve by simply saying that earlier there was a moment earlier....where they were and what they felt.

And girls, what do we mean when we say, "I Love You"? What about you are cooking a great meal, went shopping earlier and needed to go to three stores to get all the ingredients for this meal. You are thinking happy thoughts of your boyfriend/husband and you are home peeling, dicing, listening to music, feeling good saying in your brain how much, "I LOVE HIM". He comes home you trade hellos across the hall into the kitchen. A bit later he's sitting at the table and you walk in all pretty, new dress, full of joy, serving him dinner and then sitting in your chair. He says thank you and looks up and smiles at you. Now during dinner he's talking to you about something happened in his day etc. You are already a bit upset he didn't notice the new dress. You look and see him sorting out the mushrooms and peas and pushing them into the corner. As he finishes dinner, he looks up and says, "Wow, that was good." And inside you want to kill him. (And it's not even those two weeks when wanting to kill him is just a natural feeling.)

He's been at work all day (and girls, we all go to work. This is not some he works and you cook study. It's just a dissertation on love.) Everything has gone great all day. Business was good but he's exhausted and when he comes in the door you go up kiss him and tell him the garbage disposal is broken or that little bobby failed lunch. All of instruments begin to go haywire and the Love Dial snaps to zero.

And, there are so many created love demands that the phoniness is sprinkled throughout the year and our desire of naturalness becomes a conflict. Valentine's Day.....oh great.....February 14th but I feel so much love on February 6th. I buy a nice gift and wait until February 14th and the day before we had a fight. Movies, showing us how our relationship should be by actors who don't have any . The crisis of the Christmas present. Religion, oh don't get me started .

Remember our love is more from the warmth of the womb. Their love is more from the protection of the hunter. Yes, yes...........we all jump over the sides and back again. Many women today are the hunters and the men the domestic caregivers. (I'd love to ask a number of these relationships many questions. I think I would find some beautiful answers I cannot even think of.)

So, What do you think the differences are? Do you want a blog on How To Love? Or, would you just like a dinner menu with recipes?

Congress Pokes Around SecondLife

Ok, nothing can be funnier then this and at the same time sadder. In case you didn't see this I am putting a link to the Daily Shows take on Congress and the virtual world http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=165604&title=avatar-heroes

Comical Side --- Congressional hearings regarding terrorists being trained in SL. Oh please, where? In Gor? Playing Zyngo? Shopping for dresses? I think the government could be paying a bit more attention to what is happening within the non-virtual world. Perhaps having wondered about the mortgage market. Figure out why they lie about a 'strong dollar' as it falls everyday to new historical low. And then the one joke is on the one woman wearing a 'red dress and looking like a hooker." Yes, pick on us women. That's what old men do to pretend they aren't wrinkly.

A Modest Proposal -- Let us women run the government....we will create 9 sims for the men to enjoy. We will pack them up with guns, health meters, medals, booze, centerfold pictures and barrels of Vaseline. The 9 sims could each be a country and they could spend the time invading each other...over and over...giving out medals. When not warring they can enjoy the comfort of their centerfold pictures, booze and Vaseline.
In the meantime we can fix everything on earth, cook and eat what we want. Clean the house and it stays clean. Ok, I'm being a tad ridiculous but can you blame me?

Sad Comment -- Every time someone on broadcast and cable television speaks about SecondLife you get the comments like (Jon Stewart), 'they don't have a firstlife.' To the CNBC attitude we all have cooties. So let me say this to all of you in such media. First, all of you have a secondlife, you are just still keeping it in the closet. When you are having sex with your partner and think of something else you are in your private secondlife. When you see a Ferrari and stop to dream of driving one....you are in your limited secondlife. When you think or do something counterculture and ashamed of it and then denigrate those of us in Secondlife you are protecting your own craziness by trying to prove you are a part of the limited edition of normal. You are the same people who when they saw television made the same comments about that and now you are on what you denigrated then.

To all my friends of SecondLife - remember this. We socialize about our dreams and desires. Can anyone who doesn't; judge anything we do? No, because no where in history have they been right. And throughout history we are the ones who pushed the world forward. So, when you hear a comment of denigration by those in their own little play world called 'television' remember....their medium is disappearing faster then intelligence in Washington.

Oops, time for me start laughing....laughing at all those fakers who are probably in Gor right now begging to be whipped. Ha.....the comment, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone,' must have a bad translation in the books they are reading. God is revising the commandments. Removing that one about not 'coveting your neighbor's wife' (hey it doesn't say anything about coveting your neighbor's husband and why is that?) So in replacement. "Thou shalt not listen to digital images on either cable or broadcast television unless you are laughing in SecondLife."

Monday, April 7, 2008

What's so Funny

What's so funny in SL you start giggling? Here are some of my favorites.

1. In Appearance.....shape...slider bar.....making my ass smaller or tits larger....I start laughing when I think about this being transferred to FirstLife.
2. People who redline their property. I mean do they believe when they are away someone may steal their new sofa. Or if they are there....having sex.....do they think this stops those who wish to see? Do they ever stop and think. ..hmmmm... probably there are a dozen Lindens hovering over a super large monitor listening, watching and laughing.
3.One of my favorites is an oldie. I still try on an old pair of free thongs just to laugh as the only part that is covered is the clitoris. I guess that is considered modesty in today's world.
4. SL Voice when someone has their mic on and is talking with a loved one on the phone. Whether it is love, a fight or just setting up a date it is a wonderful comedic moment.
5. Xcite sim conversations.
6. The Lindens postings regarding problems under repair. They all sound like the Linden on the most Prozac gets the task of writing the apology.
7. Women who say they are happily married in both first and second Life. (For men we know they're lying)
8. A female dragon and a male tiny as partners.....especially when they are out at a concert.
9. A griefer meeting a tougher griefer. (yep...seen this..it's rare but it is great)
10.Landing at a formal party with your hair and shoe up your ass as all your friends say, "Hi"
11. Walking along and finding yourself sinking deeper and deeper in the land until you realize you aren't moving at all.
12. Comics who aren't funny. Musicians who aren't musicians. Builders who can't build. Scripters who can't script. But of course, only if all of them think they are good.
13. Prim skirts that don't fit and when you try to edit them they just get worse until you delete them.
14. Male genitals.
15. Sex balls that throw you a mile off when you stand.
16. Kitchens.

Hey list yours....I know I've missed a million..............Love you all Lauren

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What You Mean to Me

You are reading these words right now and so I feel your thoughts each time you come to this blog. Our blog. More then friends you are the light in and out of the tunnel. You are why I dream. Why I write and why I perform comedy.

There are many days I wonder about you. Are your eyes green, blue, brown? What beautiful precious stone shines are you read my words to you. Is today a Happy Day for you or has the world taken something from you? Did someone hurt your heart and soul?

And so you are here from time to time. Reminding me of the joy of our life. Yes, even if you think I don't know you I do feel my heart and soul fill with you wandering by.

So today, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. We are pixels of thoughts carried on electrons wandering across the earth and then outward for eternity.......but here we have come together...

So, WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO ME? Everything..............hugs....