Thursday, September 18, 2008

Life and Death

SecondLife slows many emotions. Love, fear, loneliness, annoyance, etc. but this blog is about a particular sense one can only  feel from behind the keyboard.

Before I explain, I know you think all of them are from behind the keyboard and yes in the end they are but the ones I am referencing  above are reinforced by the digital world we live in. The one I'll mention isn't.

You get digitally bumped, you are annoyed. You are alone somewhere in SL, you feel loneliness. You enter a 'non-safe' sim, you sense fear. You are with your friend strolling one of the beautiful forests of SecondLife, you emote love.

But death is not defined either by oneself or a friend. Since my life in SecondLife I've lost one friend from both first and secondlife. Another has surprisingly, wonderfully has managed to live nearly a year longer then was prognosed originally.

Just two weeks ago a very dear friend of mine sent a notecard outlining what appeared to be an asthma attack but upon going to the hospital  was diagnosed at first as asthma but over the next days learned she had Stage 4 Cancer in her lungs, liver, spine. Her notecards and conversations since have brought both insight and thought. Insight from her comment, "I walk this path alone now," to all the thoughts I've had since and we have shared.

Most important, her path she does walk alone but I believe all of our prayers (should you pray) thoughts (if you think) can either make this path easier or even light a path back with all of us. Her condition is not hopeless. Dire yes. But not hopeless. Already I've learned of one who walked back from a very similar brink (stage 4, spine, liver, lungs) and now 7 years later is cancer free.

Returning to the theme of this blog, I have been overcome with a sense which has nothing to do with her avatar. It occurred also with another friend earlier. But this has been much more moving since I've spent much time with Stephanie; talking with her about many things friends would talk about at these times. My mind has stopped often, both when we have been together and not, about her hands on the keyboard no longer sending out her thoughts, her love, her friendship.

We all encounter this in firstlife, however, this particularly release a different sense from SecondLife. I don't know Stephanie except from SecondLife and so this thought was not the avatar nor the physical but the soul that lives in both (if you prefer mind. I am not trying to inject religion here).

Mystifying, inexplicable I am lost as to my thoughts regarding this feeling. What does it mean? As much as I am sure I will hear from Stephanie and she is well and cancer free, I also realize her fingers may not touch the keyboard again. Fortunately, she has a wonderful family in firstlife whom she loves and loves her dearly.

Friends of SecondLife, you are all so dear (I am not sad so please don't worry about me) and at this time, no matter your belief I ask one thing. Stop....for one second,,,next time you are in-world....and send this electrical charge from your keyboard.....just type STEPHANIE.....into the void of our digital world.

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