Thursday, July 10, 2008

GOOGLE GOES LIVELY - Funeral at 1pm

My avatar began to shake. Tears rolling down her eyes. Heart emitting anxious thumps. An IM from my friend, Bettina Tizzy, came through saying (paraphrase) 'you'd better get over to Google Lively and secure your avatar name."

Immediately I exited SL and Googled the site. This was a nervous moment. I began to worry about a new dress I was wearing being shredded in Google land. Oh, then my shoes started flashing their textures through my brain creating signals of the possible loss of love. (Yes, my shoes are my friends.)

I pressed 'Download Lively', fearing the thought of losing my friends (sorry that the shoes came first) and found the download was so easy....oh the "Big Easy" I thought as Google's bigness cuteness rolled through into their new avatar world.

And now came the part to pick my avatar. I had secured my name at least. Lauren Weyland would not be undone by some teenage boy whose wet dream was to steal my avatar.

WAIT..............WAIT.......WTF..................my throat started choking....Google was morphing into Prodigy. I couldn't believe it...Google was becoming SEARS. This avatar looked more and more as if it was from some Forward to the Past. I was ugly. But, I could customize my avatar....oh...whew I thought...but after I went to find what to customize with, I fondly thought of all my old noobie clothes in SecondLife that I had thrown away.Not even the worse rag was as bad as these clothes. No JEWELRY......I was getting cranky. HairStyles and colors.....obviously my stylist didn't reside here. There would be no hair orgasms in Google Lively.

AND THEN................the shoes..........they were ugly....they didn't fit and I felt like Minnie Mouse on a bad day when I finally looked in the mirror.

But, let me go out into this Google Lively....surely somehow the me Supergirl, under the Minnie Mouse outfit, would be set free......Waiting...for ROOM to load. OMG....ROOM to load......my mind like Alice in Wonderland began to spin into a 1400 baud transfer rate.

Down that hole and into the ROOM and where was I? OMG......I was in a bad comic book. with little comic bubbles filled with chatter chatter.....was AOL trying for a comeback.......tears as I stood there...but these were the tears of my own foolishness.

The great fear.........morphed to laughter....."THIS IS GOOGLE LIVELY?" I started thinking that Steve Jobs should come here with Lisa. I looked around to see if anyone was walking their Commodore Pet and then I turned, wiggled my ass (btw you can't turn or wiggle your ass) and pressed the button that made my heels click because I needed to get back to OZ.

Moments later, I was home in SecondLife................but I wasn't safe. I realized there were people out their who wanted to destroy my world. Crush my family. Eradicate my SecondLife. It was at this point I bought a centrifuge just in case Google (like the tin man) got a brain.

I love all of you so much.................Lauren

5 comments:

PuNKka Hax said...

Ahhh, there are lots of worlds on the internet not just SL, but there is just one with Lauren, Pun, Lore, Tonio, GiFox, Ialja, IYan, Lutz and all others which mean world to me....

I don't plan to move :) Not with the inventory I would need to left behind:). Jup we are the dinosaurs and we will live :).

Paula and Elwood's Poetic Palace said...

Save the shoes!!!!!
Lauren you are awesome.

Your shows never disappoint and always make me laugh. I was thinking the other day, if I hit the lottery, I'm selling my house, quitting my job and moving in to SL


Shay Blaisdale

Selby said...

Google is getting Alzheimers? Or maybe this is part of a secret plan to speed up Google's buy-up of SL. I dont see how if could be this bad by accident

Anonymous said...

Lauren, are you nibbling at the special brownies again?

Lisa Launay

Fish the Magish said...

Google Lively is not trying to be Second Life. They are trying to be an embeddable room that you can add to a website. This is a smart idea that if done well would be great for business applications and some fun personal ones. It would not replace SL.

Unfortunately, it is currently a great idea but a lousy implementation. On top of the slow performance, limited options, lack of creation tool, lack of good customization and anorexic avatars, it dumped 5 copies of a 13 gig program with a very generic name- client.exe into my computer. This slowed it down to a crawl. We had to run 3 scans on the computer to discover that the trojan my computer caught was actually badly behaved programs from Lively.

Beware, and wait for Google to get their act together before subjecting your computer to this.