Annuale

Thank You Skylar

Lauren Weyland back stage

more from Hobo show

Finding Oneself

A friend of mine sent this to the 'jerk de jour'. It was so great I wanted to share with all of you.(this is about a SL relationship that came and went in SL. Then over a year later he contacted her again.)

To A Jerk: (I inserted jerk instead of the name that was there and elsewhere in this letter)

I have been thinking of a few things that you told me.  Keep in mind this does not come from a place of anger.  You said you wanted to bare your soul for my sake.

From my understanding when you say something is for someone’s “sake” it means for their benefit.  To inform them for their own good.

I was stretching to see what benefit when you offered to bare your soul. YOU shared you were overwhelmed about the possibility of meeting me in real life long ago.

I thought LONG and HARD about what good information there was from you that would change my perspective.

No, you didn’t change it, you confirmed what I thought long ago when I ended our online relationship.  I just never told you, since you shut me out, I knew it would fall on deaf ears.

Last night you mentioned you weren’t holding back.  

I AM holding back.  Why?  Because you are right about one thing.  I am a good woman, heck I am a GREAT woman.  

I am kind, loving, forgiving, nurturing, talented, creative, witty, a fabulous lover and mother, I make the best pot roast in the world . 

I AM a wonderful person.  

If you could not handle me in a virtual community of loving you, you certainly could not handle me in the real world.

Real life is intense (insert jerk name here).  It is full of passion and full deep-down laughs, aching grief, tears, of sweat, loss and love.  What you get OUT of it is up to you.

I was not the one who suggested meeting in RL.  That was your idea and you asked me if I would.  I agreed “someday”.  As I see it, you opened that can of worms and when they wriggled out, in all sorts of directions, you wrestled with feelings, intensity, ideas of being unable to provide financially and  the fear of harming my children?  (Do you know how disturbing THAT is to be told?)

So, since you were concerned for my sake and personal growth,  I am going to share what I think would really benefit me.

I think you are a small man.  I think you acted like a self-centered coward. 

A good, loving man looks at the woman he loves… sees her perspective and doesn’t belittle it even if he doesn’t agree with it.  A loving man will want to see things thru her eyes.

When we were together, I stretched to see the world from your eyes, your heart, your soul.

Did you ever, once, stretch to see thru mine?  I seriously doubt it.

I am not angry.  I do not have regrets of knowing you.  I learned a lot about myself and for that I am SO proud!  I wish you peace and a beautiful life.

I am going to remove you from my friends list, because I really don’t want to spend time with you.  You said your peace; I have now said mine.

(By the way, I am so very proud of my friend who wrote this. Because she is what she says she is here and she has the confidence to say it now and live it forever.)

Lauren Weyland Live at Hobo Island 2

Part 2

Lauren Weyland Live at Hobo Island

Part 1 of show at Hobo

Laughter is not for Everyone

Have you told a joke you thought was funny and no one laughed? Or, a joke you thought was appropriate and you were told it was inappropriate?

Some of you are married or in very long term partnerships in firstlife. Have you started to tell a joke to a table surrounded by friends and your 'other' interrupts with, "How many times are you going to tell that joke?."

Well, I have a solution for you. Get a new partner. Get new friends. If no one is laughing when you think something is funny then these  "maybe" friends need to be recycled. Yes, they are just 'maybe' friends. True friends love you. They may tease you but they are also aware of the limitation of teasing and the omega of love and friendship. You are not the object of an insult but instead one of shared admirable love.

I find the concept that a man can't enjoy a 'chic flick' because it's a romantic comedy ridiculous. If the movie is funny and well done then of course he should enjoy it. If he doesn't it's because he's categorized what is inappropriate for a testosterone laugh and therefore thinks you are just a sex toy that needs to  be polished from time to time. If your man says, "Pull my finger," and thinks that is funny you had better wake up and make the decision he is a 'great sex toy' or decide this kind of humor makes you laugh. If you don't find either true, trade him in for a new model while you still have enough credit in your body to make the purchase.

Look, getting old with someone who doesn't find you funny is 'not funny'! It will probably end in the punch 'my ticket' of an early death . And, if not that then, definitely Alzheimer's. Life is a balancing act. Great Sex ^ Great Laughter = True Happiness. Great Sex ^No Laughter = Lots of Loneliness. No Sex ^ Great Laughter = Friend. No Sex ^ No Laughter = Not for Me.

So, take a look around, Laughter isn't for everyone but if it is for you, then don't settle for less. If they aren't going to laugh, the least we can do is leave them confused.

When We Run Out Of Money

So, for those of us who had a little money and now have none we join our friends who have none and wanted some.

Now, let me first separate those of my friends who are in need of shelter, food, winter clothing. I do not suffer such but I drown in my tears when I realize your difficulties. Many forget how close some of their friends in SL are to poverty. I guess having a computer and a fast enough connection to the Internet would make the callous think, 'they have more then enough.' But, the computer and Internet are a necessity now and a safe haven for the soul.

For those of you with a bit more but have seen  both your small fortune diminish and the fear of the small financial security you managed to accumulate. To you, I say, it's going to be ok, if you look more to your soul then your purse.

But, let me take a stab at crap we've heard (this is American stuff, in case you are wondering what this all means) from leaders of our society. The idea that people could invest their own retirement money in the market and somehow be ok is one of the greatest lies ever told. A great society is contingent on all of the members to have the interest of the whole while the concepts in this country for the past years have been a free for all.

Why those congressmen on one side of the aisle thought all people could handle their finances including retirement is a sad state of stupidity. And those on the other side of the aisle felt that everyone should own a home at any price regardless of income are members of the dumb and dumber club. A president who said, "go shop" while we went to war was irresponsible and the Chairman of the Federal Reserve for abetting this nonsense.

Also, we now find out that no regulator, agency, financial leader anywhere in the world was worth the trust they were given.

And why do I write about this here? Because you who are reading this are the real strength of society. You are the ones who make a society good. And so, I also know, you all need a hug and to know it was not your fault and we will recover in a different way as a people. Perhaps for awhile we will find leaders who understand the morality of such a role.

(btw, do Congressmen, Presidents etc. have to take annual 'ethics' courses?)

See you SecondLife.................I think I don't need a new dress, shoes, jewelry...just you.

Being Broke and Borked in Both Worlds

Being broke in SecondLife is not terrible but then again not being able to go shopping in any world can bring a headache on faster then being asked to have sex with the unwashed. But what amazes me at the so critical time in the financial life of so many SL'ers is the spirit my friends retain despite incredible hardships in firstlife.

I mention this because i know all of you have SecondLife friends who are in serious financial, physical and or emotional trouble in firstlife. They want to talk with you (or me) because we are their friends and we are at a safe distance so they can release their feelings. I want to say to all of those who have come to me to confide these various issues; I am honored you find me to be so close that you share this intimacy. Intimacy is not all warm and cuddly. It includes the difficult as well. So, never feel you've exhausted your friendship because you have shared your difficulties. Instead realize you've only enhanced it.

Because of my commitments in both lives sometimes I have to stop short during a conversation. Fortunately my friends understand this but if anyone during a crisis really needs me to drop something and help I will.

It seems at this time everyone is beginning to fall into trouble. Financial is broiling everywhere, from layoffs, to divorce and support a family on your own, funds for health care. Money for gas. So many problems here and a sense of both urgency and despondency bring all sorts of emotional disruption. If you'd like to read a book on the depression of the 1930's which is actually a collection of wonderful stories. Read Studs Terkel's book "Hard Times". As long as we are healthy we will find a light at the end of that tunnel. It may not be a palatial estate but it will have shelter, food, clothes and love waiting with arms open.

For my dearest friends, some of whom are dying right now of cancer (yes many in SL have this disease) I cannot do much more then love you. My dear friend Steph explained it's a path,"I walk alone". Many have ailments not operable so they will remain in pain and agony for the rest of their lives. I myself have a small but still a reminder of the fragility of the body. Besides something a bit more disconcerting, my big left toe has Arthritis. It is never without pain. I think it's there to remind me of the greater pain my friends suffer.

And finally, Emotional.....this pain is so severe and debilitating. From spousal abuse (my god has any woman ever had a lifetime of not being physically abused by someone along the way.) Family members who deride their lives. Love affairs fallen by the wayside for so many reasons including affairs, see financial above. Holidays alone. Loneliness and for some depression itself.

I don't do depression. Tried it when I was young. Didn't like the taste so I have tried never to ingest again. Sometimes someone will make something with a bit of that ingredient baked in and it will take a day or so to get out of my system and then I won't let that person cook for me again.

But, the greatest reason for this blog is for all of you, no matter how you are feeling right now, to check on your friends and hug them tight. We all need each other and I think the next few years we may need each other more then ever. So don't ridicule anothers plight. Try to show the goodness I see in all of you to those you know need you now.